Technology is neither good nor bad. It merely expands our capabilities. How we use technology is either good or bad. To use it well we need to immerse ourselves in something called consequential thinking. Today, it seems the siren song of our devices is so powerful that we fail to spend enough time thinking about how to properly utilize them. We do not think about the consequences of our actions.

For example, if we are at a party getting inebriated does it make sense to take photographs of ourselves at various stages of drunkenness utilizing our smartphones and then post it to the Internet. When we apply for a job might this harm our chances of landing the position? Certainly, we can all agree that it probably will not help.

Are we so narcissistic that the most important thing for us is to broadcast ourselves to the world, under any circumstances? Where does this ultimately end? Is personal dignity of no value? Erring in judgment is one thing. Disseminating it to the world, however, sends a message that we think our bad behavior is perfectly acceptable.

We have so called reality stars who have come to prominence because of their bad behavior. Watching this, some of us might think that behaving badly and making the world aware of it is a reliable path to fame and fortune. Of course, that is not the case. Few people establish enduring fame, and make money from it, by virtue of subpar behavior.

More importantly, do we really want the kind of notoriety attached to not knowing how to comport ourselves? Does that really serve us or society in the long term?

Consider the following:

Smartphones and smart televisions are not smart. The social web is not social. Reality television programs rarely, if ever, present reality. How we use technology makes it worthwhile or not. True socializing takes place in person. If we cannot meet people in person, speaking with them allows us a much better interaction than exchanging fragments of text. If you want to experience reality – a positive reality – get out into the world and partake of enriching experiences.

Remember, technological advancement without philosophical evolution is not progress!

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*Authors note: You might see this column pop up online in a newspaper, under the name Both Sides. I am publishing this column here first at CYInterview.com. For a bunch of years, I have been writing newspaper columns. Since my columns have received a good response on CYInterview, I thought I would share it with you. Hope you enjoy.

You can reach me with your questions and comments at Jay@CYinterview.com Like today’s column? Check back frequently.

I suspect that most of us want to see a certain weight on the scale. We also want to fit into clothing of a certain size. Sometimes we meet our expectations or standards, sometimes we do not. Often, if we do not meet our self-imposed expectations for a while, we change our standards. This can be bad or good, depending on whether our standards were realistic to begin with.

It is likely that we do not think about the weight we want to see on the scale or our pants’ size as personal standards, yet they are. We need not call something by its name for it to be what it is. We might name our cat Dog, but in the end it is still a feline.

If you take a personal inventory, I am sure you will find areas of your life in which you maintain standards; maybe not in the area of bodyweight or body size but likely in other areas. I wonder, though, how many of us maintain personal standards when it comes to self-improvement, lifelong education and achievement in the workplace.

How many of us end up with jobs, which we stay in for years if not our entire lives, and stagnate in them. Every morning we head to work, just looking to make it through the day. We come home, only to begin the cycle the next day. Is there passion for what we do? In many cases the answer is no, and therein lies the challenge.

I believe we can develop passion for our work, by doing a couple of things. First, we need to expand our horizons and look at what we do for a living differently. Instead of complaining about the drudgery of work we need to develop creative approaches to instill passion within ourselves. And, of no less importance, we need to have personal standards when it comes to our jobs/careers.

When we have no standards for our performance, we are likely to have no passion as well. Having personal standards gives us goals to strive for. In turn, this can help instill passion in us for what we do.

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*Authors note: You might see this column pop up online in a newspaper, under the name Both Sides. I am publishing this column here first at CYInterview.com. For a bunch of years, I have been writing newspaper columns. Since my columns have received a good response on CYInterview, I thought I would share it with you. Hope you enjoy.

You can reach me with your questions and comments at Jay@CYinterview.com Like today’s column? Check back frequently.

Where and how we live, combined with the type of work we do and the type of leisure time activities we partake in determines what kind of lifestyle we have. A good style of life may aid our general happiness with life itself. This is not always true, yet if we live lives with many unfulfilled expectations, it is reasonable to assume that our level of satisfaction will not be where it could be.

Most people fail to achieve the lifestyles they want because they fail to make concrete plans to achieve them. Lack of planning is the single biggest reason preventing people from getting what they want out of life, that and a failure to work their plans. To a greater or lesser extent, all of us have been there.

Calculating the lifestyle you want can help bring things into focus. To do this, it is necessary to create a list of those things which are important to you in order to achieve the lifestyle you desire. Additionally, your lifestyle desires must be tempered with where you are starting from in the first place.

If you have just left university and come from a family of modest means, it would be unrealistic to calculate a near term lifestyle that approximates that of a multi-millionaire. Does this mean that you shall never achieve great wealth? Not at all; you simply need to know that wealth, generally, is built over time.

Assuming you created a list of realistic near term, midterm and long term expectations, you can now get to the process of calculating how much money you will need to accomplish your goals.
How much will a reasonable home cost? What about a car? What kind of vacations would you like to take? By calculating costs you can begin to make choices and prioritize what is most important to you. You can also develop a savings plan to meet your needs. This is a far better way to achieve your goals than just wishing. Calculate a lifestyle and then work and save for it. You can do it! (Digression: I wonder what kind of planning Rob Schneider does.)

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*Authors note: You might see this column pop up online in a newspaper, under the name Both Sides. I am publishing this column here first at CYInterview.com. For a bunch of years, I have been writing newspaper columns. Since my columns have received a good response on CYInterview, I thought I would share it with you. Hope you enjoy.

You can reach me with your questions and comments at Jay@CYinterview.com Like today’s column? Check back frequently.

Focusing on good things that are happening is a powerful motivational tool. In the business world, this is particularly true in the realm of sales. How many salespeople perpetually beat themselves up because of a perceived misstep during the process of selling to a client? How many salespeople get down because they “lost” a sale? The answer to those questions is many.

When I began a career in sales, I was fortunate enough to be directed to some quality books and audiotapes which taught me valuable lessons about the process of selling. In one of the books, the author said, I will paraphrase, that after you leave a sales call, the most important thing to do is recall what you did right. This contrasts with the typical tendency of missing a sale and then immediately reviewing everything we did wrong.

Is it necessary to review our errors in order to correct them and improve our performance in our chosen field of endeavor? Absolutely! However, prior to an orderly review of what we could we improve, it is paramount – for our sense of self-worth, self-esteem and enthusiasm – that we take stock of what we did right first. In other words, we must first focus on good things. Then we can make corrections where needed.

In business and in life in general, it is critical that we are cognizant of all the good things taking place around us so that we may maintain a high level of morale. If we are continually examining ourselves and the world for faults and flaws, in an order to perfect them, yet we suffer from low morale, how effective will we be in whatever it is we are doing?

Improvement is good and necessary. However, enthusiasm for what we do comes first. It is the fuel that allows us to seek out that improvement and utilize it. Remember, good things happen all the time!

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*Authors note: You might see this column pop up online in a newspaper, under the name Both Sides. I am publishing this column here first at CYInterview.com. For a bunch of years, I have been writing newspaper columns. Since my columns have received a good response on CYInterview, I thought I would share it with you. Hope you enjoy.

You can reach me with your questions and comments at Jay@CYinterview.com Like today’s column? Check back frequently.

Let’s look at personal productivity in the workplace. First off, where exactly is the workplace today? Is it simply our offices? What about when we answer business emails on our laptops at home? How about when we are out on the weekend with our family and we find ourselves responding to business related texts on our smartphones? You see, the workplace today can be virtually anywhere and everywhere.

Being able to work from a variety of places does have its value. Yet, it can also eat into our time of personal enjoyment, as well as impact basic chores we have to take care of at home. Some people may claim this does not matter, that in this competitive world being connected to work at all times is what counts.

Of course, there is the flipside to this. If we sit in our offices, spending time logging into the various social media platforms available to us, so that we may update people on what we had for lunch or what we are doing on the weekend, we detract from our workplace productivity.

Now, some people might claim that the old work model is not useful. They will say it does not take into account the flexibility that technology has delivered to us. They will claim that the socializing we do online during work is offset by the work related texts and emails we deal with in our personal time. Of course, they would be wrong.

Consider high level athletes. Imagine them taking breaks throughout their practices so that they might send texts and answer emails. Do you think this lack of focus will hurt them? You know it will.

You see, technology is a tool, nothing more and nothing less. It is how we use that tool that makes it effective. If we do not pay attention to our families because we are too busy working on our laptops or phones, we detract from the quality of our lives and that will ultimately impact our efficacy at work. And when we socialize at work, musing on the social media about that tasty pizza we had last weekend, we deal a blow to productivity.

Planned flexibility is fine. However, there is a time and place for work and there is a time and place for family, chores at home and enjoyment. Losing our focus and, consequently, diluting our efforts and then blaming it on technology is like blaming a hammer for breaking a vase.

Using technology to be more productive is up to us, not our tools.

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*Authors note: You might see this column pop up online in a newspaper, under the name Both Sides. I am publishing this column here first at CYInterview.com. For a bunch of years, I have been writing newspaper columns. Since my columns have received a good response on CYInterview, I thought I would share it with you. Hope you enjoy.

You can reach me with your questions and comments at Jay@CYinterview.com Like today’s column? Check back frequently.

However, in many things in life, the order of things does make a difference. For example, if we do not have basic arithmetic skills, it does not seem reasonable to delve into algebra or calculus. Knowledge seems to build on itself. Certain kinds of skills – reading and writing for example – are foundational in nature. Once we have developed those skills, we can use them to develop other skills.

When it comes to succeeding in life, a question arises about confidence and competence. Asked simply, which comes first? Does confidence generate competence or does competence generate confidence. *Quick note here: Why do so many of us – including myself – feel the need to approach things in such a binary, this or that, yes/no fashion?

Certainly, there is no doubt that competence leads to confidence. Take driving for example. The more practice we have driving, the more competent we become. The more competent we become, the more confident we are that we can drive.

Allow me to digress for a moment. I remember a discussion I once had with an educator who told me that it was not their responsibility to motivate or inspire students. “It is the students’ responsibility to learn,” this teacher insisted to me. I left that conversation shaking my head.

The reality is that parents, teachers, coaches, mentors and leaders must, if they are to be effective at what they do, inspire and motivate others. That inspiration/motivation helps the rest of us to surmount our own fears and have enough confidence to begin a given undertaking.

It is true; competence leads to confidence. Yet, we need enough confidence to begin something so that we might develop competence. Think of confidence and competence as part of a victorious cycle. We need some confidence to get the ball rolling. As our journey progresses we gain competence, which gives us more confidence to continue onward.

Often, it is a caring parent, teacher or coach who helps instill in us the initial confidence we need to begin something. From there, if we apply ourselves, the victorious cycle takes over.

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*Authors note: You might see this column pop up online in a newspaper, under the name Both Sides. I am publishing this column here first at CYInterview.com. For a bunch of years, I have been writing newspaper columns. Since my columns have received a good response on CYInterview, I thought I would share it with you. Hope you enjoy.

You can reach me with your questions and comments at Jay@CYinterview.com Like today’s column? Check back frequently.

It is this individuality that enables us to see the world from a different perspective than everyone else. It is this uniqueness that can serve as a seed corn of creativity. Lamentably, during a developmentally critical time, uniqueness is not often valued. As children, it is unfortunate that being different often serves as a prescription for being made fun of.

Insecurity breeds a need to cling to the status quo, to fit in, to conform. With children, who are in the process of trying to figure out who they are, often the kid who is most different is the one who gets made fun of with the greatest frequency and intensity. Not only is this type of inhumane treatment abominable on its face, it also serves to damper the spirit of those daring to be different.

Human beings who have dared to be different have often turned out to be highly creative souls who were behind some of society’s greatest innovations and inventions. To be human is to be different. We are not robots. We are not insects.

I am not suggesting being different for the sake of difference. I do not laud being a nonconformist simply for the sake of standing out from the crowd, to do so lacks substance. However, I do believe deeply in that part of us that makes us unique, that part of us that bestows upon us our individual identity, as distinct as our fingerprints or DNA.

Groups of people, immersed and enmeshed in gossip, often seem to enjoy pointing out that someone is weird. Imagine folks at a party, drinking, smoking and carrying on. And then there is one individual who does not smoke and does not drink. Do you figure his fellow partygoers will hold him up as an example to aspire to or in their time alone together remark on how weird he is?

Note to self: Embrace your inner weirdo. Note to others: Be who you truly are. Note to all: Individuality plays a key role in creativity. Remember, people often reject what is different out of their own insecurities. Progress comes from testing and embracing innovation. Innovation comes from looking at things differently.

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*Authors note: You might see this column pop up online in a newspaper, under the name Both Sides. I am publishing this column here first at CYInterview.com. For a bunch of years, I have been writing newspaper columns. Since my columns have received a good response on CYInterview, I thought I would share it with you. Hope you enjoy.

You can reach me with your questions and comments at Jay@CYinterview.com Like today’s column? Check back frequently.

Since this was the first class in the course, the professor was covering a variety of administrative details. At one point he said that any student who had a lot of programming experience might not belong in the course. Aside from the fact that the level of the course might be too elementary for some students, there was another reason for the professor’s remarks.

I will paraphrase what he said. Students who were too advanced for the course might make other students feel inadequate. The professor went on to say that the students who felt inadequate would, in fact, be mistaking inadequacy for inexperience.

This got me to thinking about all sorts of human endeavors. How many times, in school, in business, in athletics or in something else, have we mistaken our lack of experience in a field for some kind of inherent inadequacy? Put another way, how many times do we judge ourselves as fundamentally not up to a challenge rather than understand that we simply lack experience.

A lack of experience should not hold us back from a challenge. It merely means that we have to build up the requisite amount of experience in a given field so that we might perform at levels where we might be judged as being competent.

However, so many of us – and I, for one, have been there too many times in my life – denigrate our abilities to succeed at an undertaking before even giving ourselves a chance to learn the basics of the activity we are pursuing. We become our own worst enemies, because we fail to distinguish between inadequacy and inexperience.

Given enough time, most of us, through diligent focus, review and practice, can develop competency in any number of fields we might feel are “beyond us.” This is an important point to remember in the pursuit of self-advancement. In most undertakings, when we feel we are in over our heads, we are not inadequate but merely inexperienced. And that can be remedied.

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*Authors note: You might see this column pop up online in a newspaper, under the name Both Sides. I am publishing this column here first at CYInterview.com. For a bunch of years, I have been writing newspaper columns. Since my columns have received a good response on CYInterview, I thought I would share it with you. Hope you enjoy.

You can reach me with your questions and comments at Jay@CYinterview.com Like today’s column? Check back frequently.

Here are three good things to consider which will, hopefully, help you to become more effective at work, school or, simply, in life in general.

Write it down – Do you suffer memory lapses? Do you find, at times, that your ability to comprehend new material is faulty? If you do, pick up a pen and get writing. That’s right, a pen. Today, many people seem to have forgotten how to write complete sentences. We are consumed by texting mania – all fragments of thoughts and abbreviations. I believe the act of writing something down “the old fashioned way” can actually work to help our memories.

Are you really interested in learning new material? Write down what you are focusing on with pen and paper and then, later, transcribe it to your computer, creating a document. You will have now listened to or read the new information and written it down twice and, consequently, read it a couple of additional times. That should help you absorb things better.

Laugh – Are confronted with lots of work? Do you have a task before you that you feel you have no way of accomplishing because attempting to do so frustrates you to no end? No worries, start laughing. Now, before you do this, make sure you are not laughing in the presence of your boss, a superior, your professor, etc. The idea of laughing is not to mock the person who has given you the tough assignment. Rather, it is to reduce the stress we feel when confronted by a daunting project.

Laughing reduces stress. Lower stress levels will help us accomplish whatever our task at hand is better than if we feel we are going to fall apart under the pressure of needing to get something done. Laugh, just be careful where and when to laugh.

Break it in three – Remember that expression, “Aller guten Dinge sind drei?” Well, not only do good things come in three, but breaking things down into three parts seems to be an easier way of overcoming a task than attempting to accomplish it in one fell swoop. The more complex the task, the more tripartite divisions you need to make. Break things in three and break what you have broken down into three and the seemingly complex becomes simple.

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*Authors note: You might see this column pop up online in a newspaper, under the name Both Sides. I am publishing this column here first at CYInterview.com. For a bunch of years, I have been writing newspaper columns. Since my columns have received a good response on CYInterview, I thought I would share it with you. Hope you enjoy.

You can reach me with your questions and comments at Jay@CYinterview.com Like today’s column? Check back frequently.

It is our responsibility to keep ourselves in check when it comes to the knowledge we possess or lack. It is important for us to know what we know and know what we do not know. Too many of us, and I have been there, become enamored with our own sense of knowing. At times we bask in self-sanctioned omniscience only to be brought down, sooner or later, by the reality of our infinite ignorance.

At some point in time we have all suffered a moment of transcendental ignorance. This is when we go spouting off about something we know little about. Though our knowledge on the matter at hand is scanty, we offer those around us the pearls of our purported yet unsupported knowledge. Some of us have more of these moments than others.

Mental acuity, ability and agility are ultimately predicated on humility. For intellectual growth, we need to be humble enough to realize we do not know everything. We must be eternal students seeking knowledge, rather than becoming all-knowing know-nothings.

Being humble about what little knowledge we have aggregated during our tenure on earth is good mental hygiene. Getting all narcissistic about the few facts we might have rattling around in our noggins is nothing less than a kettle of crazy.

Everyone can be forgiven for having a few full-throated moments of high volume ignorance. They are like the brain’s bad hair days. We go blowing hot air and we want to treat those around us to the winds of our vacuous, mental fury. On those occasions, however, it would be better if we pulled our hats down over our mouths.

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*Authors note: You might see this column pop up online in a newspaper, under the name Both Sides. I am publishing this column here first at CYInterview.com. For a bunch of years, I have been writing newspaper columns. Since my columns have received a good response on CYInterview, I thought I would share it with you. Hope you enjoy.

You can reach me with your questions and comments at Jay@CYinterview.com Like today’s column? Check back frequently.